My plans for Valentine’s day

Oh, the day we celebrate love! Isn’t it supposed to be romantic, and passionate, full of love and blah blah blah how I hate it all! Okay, hate is a strong word, I’d rather say it is not my cup of tea. I liked it when I was in first grade when EVERYONE was supposed to give you a card, now it is just pathetic, maybe at least for me. Every year, it is always very extreme. Either I am as alone as a person could be, or I am surrounded by so many people that it is overwhelming. Now, I have it all figured out. Why celebrate love on February 14, if I can celebrate it 364 days a year? That one day when everyone is cuddling with their spouse, I cuddle my friends and watch horror movies, eat junk food, basically our goal is to sit on the couch and get as fat as it possible in a single night. As hopeless as it sounds, it isn’t how it sounds. It is much more fun. How wonderful it is to mock people in love? Believe me, if you already think public display affection is ridiculous, then you haven’t laughed enough. Mocking lovers is the best. Who needs a spouse when you can have a same-gender spouse-ish person in your life who makes fun of other people hoping that you both won’t die alone! Now, horror movies are also very important. If you are a horror movie fan, then you must have noticed that there are some things that are always the same. The black person dies first, then the blonde, then the person with the boyfriend/girlfriend, and then, the person who tries to be heroic. Notice that in every horror movie, the person who starts kissing their significant other dies. It’s funny because if you love someone they will eventually die. Don’t be too dramatic about it because if you die before them, you can be their guardian angel and the other romantic stuff you want to be. Back to Valentine’s day, chocolate is cheaper. Who wouldn’t want to devour 4 bars of Kit-Kat and not regret it because no guy would tell you that you are getting fat? And flowers, oh the flower affair! I’m not really a fan of flowers because I hate taking care of plants. I am very positive that if it wasn’t for my mother to water the flowers our house would look like a cemetery that hasn’t been visited in ages. So yes, if a guy gave me flowers I wouldn’t be so thankful, maybe if they were fake I’d be delighted because then I wouldn’t look after them.

Now you know what I am going to do this Friday. I am going to make fun of every thing and anything and enjoy it. I sound so sure of it, maybe my mother won’t allow me. Nevertheless, to all my fellow single friends out there, you are not forever alone, you are forever available!

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